THE CELL 2

...THE CELL 2: .Directed by Tim Iacofano (24, Profiler).

..This {straight-to-DVD} release is, well..., OK, now let me put it to you this way so I am not misunderstood: It's not always easy when you take on the task of reviewing films. Sometimes you will have the same expression on your face as does Actress (Tessie Santiago) does in the frame grab to the right - basically stating to one's self watching some of these filmmaking attempts: "I have to go to the bathroom, and now I have to deal with it for the next 90 minutes because there is no one around to help me and the door is Locked! "

..Yep - this opening shot of the film is displaying the stupidity, the uneasyness, the bad acting and boredom that is about to unfold in front of your very own eyes. You will have the very same look on your face watching this. Really... you actually will!

..This is by no means to be thought of as a -direct sequel- to the original "TARSEM SINGH" film "THE CELL", which starred Jennifer Lopez, Vince Vaughn, and Vincent D'onofrio. That film had so many magnificent and richly disturbing sequences, decent acting and such brilliant Art Direction that I still admire that film to this day. The "psychic investigator" working with law enforcement to find a sadistic serial killer plot point / character is all that was taken from the original.

..The CELL 2 deals with a different lead psychic investigator Maya {Santiago} in the Lopez's' lead role as the police problem solver and investigation psychic guide because her character had a personal run in, and of course survived it in her past with our new lead bad guy, a serial killer referred to as THE CUSP. After numerous missed attempts to find the elusive serial killer, evading capture by mear seconds causing the macho cops to start blaming the psychic again for their own failures in catching the killer themselves.- how original is that for ya...

..{Asst. Editor SIDE NOTE}: There are vary many professional Psychics and Demonologists that we have personally interviewed for this web site referring to the "businesses" disdain for psychics in general. Well, here we go again.. Sorry folks - that's the way the film starts out - on a {negative} note of psychics used on police investigations. If interested in reading about a "REAL" forensic psychic investigator that we personally interviewed, Read about {NANCY MYER}.

..Years pass as Maya secretly, and professionally, is still obsessing over the failures in her past to bring THE CUSP to justice. Just then - we got another killing - THE CUSP has resurfaced, and the cops need her. This is just the first 13 minutes of the film, mind you. Actor Frank Whaley {who you might remember as the disturbed voyeur desk clerk in "VACANCY"} appears on-sean right after Detectives at a crime scene are arguing about if the killer is a cop... DAH!!! {Yep - I was right - this was sooooo easy}.

..THE CUSP tortures are week and rather stupid, and of course for a film like this - unoriginal: Of course we need the young female victim: the nameless blondes.. hopelessly bound and screaming to be let go, and never are. The killers M.O. is to bring the victim as close to death through torture, as to bring them to a point that they would beg for their own death. Torture the body / Torture the mind. I am watching intently and studying this film and say this to myself : THREE WORD's: S A W and H O S T E L and F E A R . COM.

..The comparisons to the "SAW franchise" are unmistakable and are copied down to the killers voice tone, the totally isolated and abandoned victim's torture locations, Hell - they even used a scrappy looking, home built "head cage" that was used on the 1st SAW victim - all of these plot and character concepts were stolen {excuse me - emulated or inspired from... ok...} from one of the most successfully horror film series of all time. Of course its great source material.. but it isn't their's - it's all been done {far better} before. But , I will say this: the "KILL - REVIVE VICTIM- KILL AGAIN" torture technique implemented by the THE CUSP was not all that bad a concept for a film of this nature except for one thing - it screams out the true identity of the killer just like this: P A R A M E D I C !

..Again, we find in this film that acting skills were not a high priority in the casting process. Everyone looks like they just took a great big bight out of a lemon just before the camera rolls to invoke a character reaction - what do I know, probably works!. The cutting of the torture sequences looks as if the editor and camera crew were suffering from Parkinson dieses. Photographic visual effects look at times rather cheap, amateurish, and even "80's rock band" video like. It's like looking at the bridge of the Starship Enterprise in the new -Star Trek- movie while tripping out bad. Some special visual effects work - some fail horribly by today's quality standards.

..The film ends with a ridiculously unrealistic, under dramatized stunt of the ole' "Hey.. the helicopter is taking off - I think I will jump aboard, fly around 1.000 feet in the air for a bit, hang on for dear life, because I will catch him at all costs to save the victim - which is the lead actress, of course" routine. Suddenly, Maya turns into a "Psychic Wonder Woman" setting things straight in the paranormal world - justice served, beeoch!

..What really kills this film {pun intended} is the casting of the main villain - was Matthew Broderick not available? Was Bronson Pinchot busy? Could we not find someone even less intimidating. The film just does not have any believable tension, especially coming from the actor's performances here. THE KILLER IS THE KEY IN ANY FILM - THIS IS FILMMAKING 101. If you have a great bad guy, it makes the hero {or in most of these films - heroine} much more believable. There is absolutely no tension created by the characters or in the direction of this film. It is neither mentally engaging or milidly scarry in the least. It feels like a Television movie that holds way back on gore and, of course, character development and has nothing worthwhile to add to the Original film.

..I will say this.... You -WILL APRECIATE- the original "THE CELL" movie and concept of story {all that much more} after watching this tale. All of these characters are taken from other films, even including "DIE HARD". So, if you are looking for something engaging, scary, thrilling, stimulating, great action and acting and want to talk about it at work tomorrow.. watch "THE DARK NIGHT" or even possibly the original film... "THE CELL" - not this. Rent "THE CELL 2" if you dare for a buck if you have insomnia. The filmmakers had a decent starting point with the original story and film to work off of - too bad nobody actually watched it or took any notes, or better yet - CALLED TARSEM SINGH ! ...Not Recommended -

Studio: New Line / Year: 2009
Cast: Tessie Santiago, Chris Bruno, Frank Whaley
Director: Tim Iacofano / Release Date: June 16, 2009
Rating: R for (violence and torture, some language and brief sexuality)
Run Time: 01h:33m:12s / Genre(s): suspense thriller

DVD OFFICIAL WEBSITE: http://www.thecell2dvd.com/

..OUR ADVICE TO THE FILMMAKERS would be to burn the original camera negative asap so no further contamination to the viewing public will occur. If your eyesight and hearing is impaired, you won't be adversely affected as the rest of us.

..GOOD ATTEMPT, and maybe - possibly entertaining to some, but not most. I got through it without gouging my eyes out, yet have a sense of dizziness due to the film's stupidity level.

..RECOMMENDED. Sat through it with no feelings of nausea and dare I say it, I was entertained!

..VERY RECOMMENDED. Finally we have what can be called an actual film. Both entertaining and accurate in detail. Recommended HIGHLY by Visionsmagazineonline.com

..FILMMAKING PERFECTION. Worthy of the archival process. Own it in your own film library. No questions asked.

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